You Have No Idea The Things I Am Going Through

This summer has been one of change in my household, and it seems to be the same for my clients, friends, and colleagues. I have thought this and heard this exact phrase so many times in the past few weeks.

We walk around like we have it all together. God forbid anyone know the truth, and yet we end up carrying this heavy weight alone. We expect our clients to be open and vulnerable with us so we can fully help them while staying completely closed off in our own lives.

I get it. We know that we are here to do a job. We are here to bring peace in the midst of someone else's storm. This week I was brought to realize that holding space sometimes means clearing space first.

I am not saying lead with drama, but I am saying to find an incredible support system that will support you and be there for you.

Life is drama. We all go through it. Peace can still be held in the midst of the drama too. Peace does not mean that nothing is wrong or that nothing is happening. Peace is despite the chaos and drama—you have an inner quiet.

Your clients and family desperately need you to have inner quiet. Just to give context—

In the last 3 months:

• My husband completed an alcohol-free program out of state for a month

• Had extended family drama over the decision of what was best for our family

• Lost 2 beloved pets while he was away

• My son was harassed at school and online to the point all of our family's private information got doxxed along with pictures and the address of my 8-year-old daughter (this has been reported)

• Had one of the best few months in business as a team and individual so far this year

• Talked down 2 potential lawsuits over things beyond our control

• Finished the requirements for my broker's license (I have put off for 2 years)

• Got 2 new pups that brought in new life

• Did not miss a beat in my business

How do we make it through times like these? We get quiet. We say no to anything that does not serve us or that we do not have the capacity to commit to.

I actually found myself over capacity, and a friend reminded me that I was being flaky. It was a wake-up call to drop more things on my plate and to bring it down to the essentials for the time being.

Which is why I put a pause on the podcast. It is why I stopped trying to commit to things, even though I wanted to, I just did not have the capacity to. It was a surrender to the removal of everything that needed to be.

I just want to remind you, if you are in a season of learning to let go, let it all work out. Take care of you. Do not feel bad for saying NO because with every NO you are actually saying YES to yourself and your future.

I made a list in June of my only priorities this season:

• My family. Giving them attention, priority, and the best of me

• My team, business, and clients. These people deserve the best and mean so much to me. When I say I value the relationship more than business—I mean it. I am competent at what I do, so placing value outside of the skillset has been a game-changer and much more meaningful.

• Myself. What kind of list would it be if you did not include yourself as a priority in your life? As much as we do this for everyone else, we have to place importance on our own well-being.

• Get my physical and metaphorical home in order.

You will notice this list did not include a podcast, writing, social outings, workouts, forced interactions, and events.

I think getting clear and bringing intention to the things that matter most is key. I also had an amazing group of 2-3 women I leaned on during this time. They always made time and vice versa.

We all need somebody to lean on in life. You were not meant to carry the load alone. You are not alone in any of your struggles. Somewhere there is another experiencing the same situation. We are not that special. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Find a group of safety to be real with. Allow others in.

Because when you allow others in—others allow you in.

I know we live in a culture of concealment. Conceal, don't feel...

Well, that leaves you numb, alone, and in your mind playing the same stories over and over.

Starting today, put your faith back into God or whatever you believe. Get concise priorities and say no to EVERYTHING that is not on the list (even if it is for a few months). Call a great friend and be open and watch them open up too. Everyone is going through something at any given point.

I hope you found this comforting and helpful today. It was on my heart to put it out.

All the love and light,

Monica