Updated: Aug 1
Boundaries... Most of us know we need them, but when we go to set them and stand by them we struggle.
Our clients seem to only want to text and call at odd hours that fit their needs, just not ours. Then we have our family that does respect what we produce but does not respect our non urgent tasks like making calls and following up.
We tend to let many boundaries slip across our personal lives and our business lives.
The overwhelming feeling that we know what we need to do, we just do not know how to ask or receive it, keeps us where we are.
Let me tell you about my sister in law "Meg."
Meg entered the family feeling large and in charge, except no one respected Meg for a few reasons.
She lied about everything! You know those people that are willing to randomly make up lies about stupid stuff you didn't ask or care about? Ya this was her, "I have a perfect credit score- It's in the thousands!" It would drive me nuts just hearing the complete lies. One time her car "got stolen" at a church event and she posted everywhere and made a huge deal about it to find it was repossessed. We all know agents that have a reputation for lying. It can be super frustrating and there are times you just want to call them out. If you do, you will be the one more frustrated. People who do this, have a mental block that you are not going to break. They believe their own stories and you are not going to convince them otherwise.Instead of calling them out, ignore the lies and ask questions that pigeon the results you actually want. In this scenario you have to choose what you want most over being right.
She tried to control everyone! Every family function was a complete crap-chute. We were corralled as children and only allowed to be in specific areas (do not go in the kitchen, kids are not allowed outside, etc) The more she tried to control everyone the more everyone would act out. You know the agent that wants to control both sides of the transaction and leave you fighting against the micro-manage. This is an area where my advice might surprise you. You absolutely need to stand your ground only on the most crucial pieces to your running and clients needs. I am telling you to pick and choose your battles or you will be managed into the ground even more with the expensed energy from the fight. If you pick your battles you can easily let go of the rest and win by having peace, energy, and sleep.
She used people as pawns for control. This is an area that I have the most issue with. If someone did something she did not like, best believe did not see her children again. It felt wrong, but here is the thing: the only way you win is to gain your control back. Life is better when the ball is in your court and sometimes you have to let the players go to get it back in your court. You know that agent that threatens to walk before discussing with their client or is throwing a fit over terms "for their client." These are the times to let your client make the decision and put the ball back into their court.
Meg taught me quite a bit about leadership, ownership and knowing when to pick what battle. If you're in a transaction right now and are going through the ringer just know it is short lived and you can gain peace in the meantime.
Thanks for reading! -Monica
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Also check out our quiz, What type of Realtor are you. Find out if you are a Phil Dunphy or a Karen! https://www.momentumbymonica.com/quizzes