It is Thanksgiving week and many of us are trying to play the role of the cook, deal negotiator, listing king, wrestle and hurd the kids (ours and the clients), spouse of the year and listening to uncle Kenny drunkenly rant and rave over politics. It is enough to make any person feel insane.
I am going to let you in on a little secret that will help you achieve chaotic joy... Take care of what takes care of you. Whether that be the food you eat or the customers you greet. What I mean is, take care of yourself first and the rest will follow:
If you are intentional about the food you are putting in, you will feel more taken care of.
If you are intentional about the way your attitude and the way you feel, your customers will feel more taken care of.
If you are intentional about your boundaries and the control you have over yourself including your responses, you will feel more taken care of.
When we feel taken care of, then we are able to pour into everyone else. I think overall, it is truly a simple concept .. "When you feel better, you do better." It is easier to make those extra follow ups when you feel great! Wrangling kids does not seem too difficult of a task when you have the energy for it. Setting a boundary with Uncle Kenny is very simple to do when you feel good about yourself.
Also, this is a great time to talk about boundaries. Boundaries are not a control of anyone else. Telling Uncle Kenny not to drink or speak on politics is not a boundary. That is trying to control someone else's actions and words, which is impossible to do. Boundaries are for you. They are a cause and effect storyline with the intention to keep loved ones in and not shut them out. A boundary is telling Uncle Kenny, you will be leaving if the conversation and drinks show up. This is within your control and you are setting the decision in his lap. You are telling him, "I want you around, but this is what I need for that to happen."
Setting boundaries with your kids is great too. In my boys' younger years I would give the options to make the decision. Now the options sometimes were, "You can choose. Do your chores or go to bed. You decide." Sometimes they actually choose bed! Those dishes were waiting on them in the morning, but I respected their decision.
This is your life. You have to live within your intentions or you end up resenting everyone and everything. All of this work you are doing should be going to something. There will always be chaos. The trick is learning how to make it work for you.
If you are needing someone to talk to, Lets un-spaghetti your brain. You can email me at email@example.com
P.S. If you found this post valuable, feel free to share the wealth!