The Sinkhole That Taught Me to Soar: Why You Keep Losing What You’ve Worked So Hard For

There’s this moment no one talks about—the moment after you get the thing you’ve been chasing.

The house.

The clients.

The stage.

The body.

The relationship.

And yet, somehow, instead of feeling grounded in it… you feel like you’re free-falling.

That used to be the story of my life.

For years, I would climb. Hustle. Heal. Grow. Build.

And then—sinkhole.

It would all collapse. Finances drained. Relationships gone. Identity stripped. Sometimes even health. The second I thought I was “getting it together,” it was like something yanked me back under.

I used to think I was cursed. That maybe I wasn’t cut out for the life I was trying to create.

But what I eventually learned was this:

It wasn’t that I wasn’t meant for it… it’s that I didn’t recognize myself inside of it.

See, when you’ve been in survival mode most of your life, success feels unsafe.Love feels suspicious. Wealth feels heavy. Freedom feels foreign.

So we sabotage. Not always consciously. But we stop showing up. We undercharge. We over-explain. We delay. We pick fights. We make ourselves smaller again… because it’s familiar.

And the truth is: you can only hold what you feel safe holding.

That’s why your dream life feels so slippery. You want it, but you don’t know how to live in it.

The version of me who kept losing everything? She didn’t fail because she wasn’t capable. She failed because she couldn’t see herself as the woman on the other side of the mountain.

That’s when everything shifted:I started talking to my present-day self from my future self. I began asking: What would the version of me who already has it all do right now? How would she respond to this problem? How would she walk into the room? What boundaries would she hold?

I started living from her. Not toward her.

And let me tell you something—That woman? She didn’t hustle for scraps. She didn’t beg for validation. She didn’t question her worth.

She led. She commanded. She rose.

You are your own greatest superhero. She’s not 10 years away. She’s already in you, waiting to be remembered.

So today, even if life feels like it’s slipping—again—Anchor yourself in the version of you who’s already overcome this.

You’ve already made it. Now it’s time to get familiar with living like it.

-Monica Burke

P.S. We have a FREE online community dedicated to giving you the competitive edge and daily drops of small actionable steps to increase your business and MOMENTUM!

Click Here to Join